Worth It

My fiancé asked me a thoughtful question this morning, something I’ve often asked in the past: Since God knew how everything would turn out with Lucifer and the rest of His creation, why did He still go through with all of it?

It wasn’t until recently that I thought of a likely theory for why God didn’t just call the whole creation thing off: it will be worth it, all of it. He knew we, humans, would make a big mess of things but he still created us because He saw the END and saw something there that would make it worth all the mess.

I don’t think this idea has any Biblical basis at all — at least, not that I know of — but it is an encouraging thought that occurred to me one day as I was mulling all the things I have gone through in the past and how all the heartaches and troubles and issues have all been worth it thus far to live the life I am enjoying now. This thought has also encouraged me every single day as I navigated around all the challenges — emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual — this pandemic has posed. This thought also continues to strengthen my trust in a God who sees the beginning from the end and in whose hands my future is secure.

So yeah, I think in the end it will all be worth it.

Ravens

“It will always look little but it will never run out.” (Steven Furtick)

Finances. Food. Faith. Sometimes our provisions — physically and spiritually — could seem meager and dangerously running low. I have found myself in situations where I thought there will be none left when I wake up the following morning. Would I still have money for subway fare next week? Would I have enough for one meal the following day? Would I have the ability to pay rent next month? Would my faith hold? How long before my peace runs out and chaos sets in? How long before my trust in God is irrevocably broken? But though my pantry only had one can of corned beef left in it, somehow I didn’t die of hunger; though I questioned God every night, somehow my relationship with Him survived that difficult season.

When you are scraping the bottom of the barrel and trying to conserve whatever you have left, hope threatens to let go of the already flimsy thread it’s hanging on to. Despair is a natural reaction to adversity. It’s what millions of people are dealing with at present as a result of this COVID-19 pandemic. The loss of jobs are threatening families’ abilities to feed their children or keep the houses they’ve worked their entire lives to build. It’s a valid concern and the fear and anxiety felt by these families are as real as the noonday sun.

We could pray for them and encourage them with the truth that God has promised to SUPPLY all of our needs; how He sent ravens to bring bread to Elijah; how He kept the Israelites alive in the desert for 40 years by giving them manna and quail; how He fed 5,000 people by multiplying 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread; and how He caused a widow’s supply of flour and oil to never run out. Prayer and encouragement are important and sufficient because God is powerful; but if we are able, we can be the ‘ravens’ God uses to bring them bread; we can be the reason they survive another month of this pandemic by giving them ‘manna and quail’. We may not be able to give them much, but God is able to multiply the two fishes and five loaves we give them.

Someone I know sets aside a portion of his income for something he calls a ‘benevolent fund’ — a pool of finances he draws from whenever someone approaches him with a need. He said that this puts him in a position to give whenever it’s necessary. The first time he told me about this, I cried (in secret, of course). I cried because how many of us have thought about this? How many of us are concerned beyond our own needs? If he were someone who had bank accounts all over the world such as the likes of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or Jeff Bezos, it wouldn’t be as heartwarming because whatever they give is neglible to their bottomline plus they get tax relief out of it. This person I know, however, is just like us — income earners who have enough to live comfortable lives; but unlike most of us, he is willing to be God’s hands and feet in this world that is in dire need of it.

Our generation is starving from one thing: kindness. We go out to the streets to fight for causes we believe in, we post awareness messages on social media, we talk loud, even argue with anyone who is not on board with our principles. I’m not saying these are wrong, but how many of us do the actual work of making a difference in people’s lives? How many of us would respond to a need when we have the ability to do so?

When my resources were dwindling and I found myself at rock bottom, God sent me ‘ravens’. If we all look back, we’d realize He’s done the same thing to all of us one way or another. Someone, somewhere could really use a ‘raven’ right now.

Again and Again

There are some things you’d rather forget; especially those that trigger thoughts you’d rather not think and emotions you’d rather not feel. During this pandemic season, my fiancé and I have frequently discussed the importance of intentionally choosing to dwell instead on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8 NIV). This led me to erase my last two posts. I am aware that I would not be able to entirely erase them from my memory, but I can definitely erase them from my blog. Ha!

These afternoon musings on memories were set off by my trying to recall bits and pieces of what transpired in the last 15 years. I have been writing a book containing stories of my experiences in New York City and there are certain moments I remember like they happened yesterday and a lot that are blurry and all but faded. But there is a significant lesson that I mulled over with these reminiscences: God can do the SAME THING again.

An IGTV video posted by Life.Church featured Ptr. Robert Madu teaching on how God can do things AGAIN. He talked about how Jesus performed the miracle of feeding the multitudes TWICE: once with the 5,000 and a few months later with the 4,000. He said, “…if God did something miraculous once, how many of you know He has the power to do it again? That if God healed you once, He can heal you again. That if God opened a door once, He can open up a door again. He can do it again! Oh, come on! Please do not let this pandemic make you nervous and question the power of your God. Because if He did it once, He can do it again. Some of you need to rehearse the history of all the things that God has brought you from and all the things that He’s done. And it is your history with God that should give you strength and faith for what you’re facing now. Because if He did it once, He can do it AGAIN!”

What a reminder! God has indeed opened doors of opportunity, healed my body, provided for my basic necessities, protected me from harm and danger, sustained the people I love, gave me the trivial things I ask for… not once, not twice, but over and over again. Yet when uncertainties came, my initial reactions could be characterized as filled with anxiety, concern, worry, even fear. Despite my ‘history’ with God, my human frailty takes over and it takes a lot of conscious effort and intentionality to remember God’s faithfulness, trust in WHO He is — my Father — and rest in the knowledge that He does not bless me because I deserve it but because I am His precious daughter and He loves me.

It’s a simple truth. I’ve heard it so many times before. Today, however, this simple truth filled me with such joy I could eat a gallon of ice cream! (I know a lot of people eat ice cream when they’re sad; I, however, crave for it when I’m happy. So yeah, it’s an ‘order ice cream for delivery’ kind of day.)